Mama Mia!

Why am I crying out for help, you ask? Well, my baby,(who will be turning 18 soon) is packing up most of her earthly belongings and going off to (gulp!) college. True, her university of choice is a mere 30-45 minutes away by car (depending on the traffic), but, this is like that tottering first step she took when she was a little over a year old. I'm rejoicing in her accomplishment, but dreading the fact that she will toddle away without my steadying hand. Yet, I know that I've done my job as best I could, and that not only will she walk with confidence, but run out and meet her future with that same unbounded enthusiasm. There is so much more I can say, but I don't want to embarrass her since I know she will be reading this (when she should probably be finishing up her packing. Back to work, young lady!) I just want her to know that I'm proud of her and the choices she's made, and that I can't wait to watch her make that next tottering step towards adulthood. G...

For some strange reason, I love watching those travel shows where the host eats his/her way through a vacation (for want of a better description) spot. (Because, to be real,not many people would want to vacation in some of the locations that the hosts visit, let alone eat some of the things they eat.) Last night it was Anthony Bourdain, the culinary world's bad-boy. He was chowing down across Texas, with a few swings into Mexico. Some of the street food there had my mouth watering--real tacos with lots of beef and cilantro in handmade corn tortillas, to name just one example. The most intriguing part of the episode was his visit to a Sushi restaurant in Laredo. Now, I abhor raw fish (ick--the texture makes me gag,) so the beautifully presented sushi wasn't the thing that intrigued me. The fact that it was run by a Chinese woman and the chefs were Mexican, that was it. I find p...

6.) (?) Have you seen the commercial with the elephant who borrows his handler's Mastercard and buys comfort items to help him through his cold? At first I thought, "How heartwarming and cozy!" But then...it started to bother me. It was way too easy for that elephant to breeze throught the shops, pick up his purchases, and wave his handler's Paypass at the register. Nobody thought it was odd to have an elephant in the store, nobody asked him for I.D. Doesn't that bother you? In future, when visiting elephants at the zoo or the circus, keep an eye on your wallet, and especially your Mastercard. And be suspicious, very suspicious, if you recieve a statement which includes a huge peanut purchase. But, seriously, doesn't the idea of a Paypass unnerve you?

I think I was up to 4.) Has technology made our lives easier, or just a helluva lot more complicated? Sure, I'm happy that I don't have to haul our dirty laundry down to the stream and beat the clothes against a rock to get them clean and April fresh. But, with the advent of the electric washing machine and dryer, people realized they could have more clothes, since washing didn't take a whole day. More clothes--more laundry! Oh, and did I mention the need for more and larger closets? In order to buy homes with more and larger closets, more income is needed. To get more income, the women have to join the workforce, which in turn, leaves things, like laundry, to pile up until someone has a chance to address them... Which leads me to... 5.) Are women really better off now than they were, say, a hundred years ago? If I were to answer that now (remember, irritable is the word o...

First of all, the questions are burning because it's 115 degrees fahrenheit out there and pretty much everything is burning: hands on the steering wheel, feet on the pavement, eggs on the sidewalk... I think you get it. Irritability is the word of the day, no, make that the word of the seaon. Now, about those QUESTIONS! 1.) Who decided that females should be smooth, hairless creatures? C'mon now! How unfair to those of us who can trace half of our genes to passengers who arrived at Ellis Island on a boat from Napoli?! Whoever made that decision, no doubt, founded a razor blade empire and laughed all the way to the bank, where a smooth, hairless blonde teller accepted his deposit, not knowing the anguish suffered by her Mediterranean brunette counterparts. 2.) Why is it that in great works of literature, an adulterous woman always suffers a slow, painful, torturous death, usual...

June 12, 2007 - Tuesday Mud, grime, mold, mildew, dust--certainly no one will argue that these are "dirty" words. Heck! Watch any amount of daytime television to ascertain that fact. Advertisers are smitten with those words and compel unsuspecting consumers to wage war against them with any number of new and improved products. But, I've come here to tell you about the "dirtiest" word of them all--and it has nothing to do with the opposite of clean. (Or sex.) Are you ready? Can you handle it? Brace yourself! It's summer. The kids are out of school. I am out of school. I have all the time in the world (in between swim practice, basketball practice, the teen volunteer program at the library, etc.)t...

May 28, 2007 - Monday Just when you think that things are going your way... Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water (cue the theme from "Jaws")... Just when you're starting to feel just a tad comfy with that big employment move you're about to make... (Theme music crescendos!) The ride starts spinning faster and faster and faster. Your cheeks are doing their best to slide off your face. You can't move your head. That hot dog is inching its way back up your esophagus. You're pinned to the back wall. (Sound fx--CRUNCH! Simulating a well-placed shark bite.) And then the floor drops out from under you! (SCREEEAM!) (DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE MIXED METAPHORS?) That's sort of how I f...

May 19, 2007 - Saturday My muse might be on "vacay", but I'm not. To loosely quote the Stanley Tucci character from "The Devil Wears Prada"--I'm girding my loins. This upcoming week, mes amis, is going to be, how you say, a bitch! It's the last week of yet another school year. Okay, I know, I'm a teacher. I get the summer off, sort of. (And yes, I know, your 6th grade teacher told you never to end a sentence with a preposition, but I'm allowed to because. Well, just because. There, I broke a few more rules. Sue me!) But, it's the only way we keep our sanity. Back to this upcoming week...grades are due in the computer by Tuesday afternoon. I still have stacks of papers and projects ...

April 16, 2007 - Monday Okay, it was my birthday. We had 2 free movie tickets courtesy of Safeway (you know, buy ten overpriced frozen items during promotion time and you earn "free" movie tickets.) So, after stuffing our faces at dinner, we cruise over to the movie theater without a plan. "300" was one of the few movies that I wanted to see--the trailer was intriguing--so that was our pick. I always enjoy a good epic. But "300" is not just an epic--it's an epic with wall-to-wall genuine, original (at least I hope they were't computer generated) hot-bodied men, with well-defined six packs and rippling thigh muscles. Not only that, but Gerard Butler, the actor playing King Leonidas, has ...

Donuts make my brown eyes blue. Sounds like a catchy song title. It is. Forgive me, I'm listening to soft rock of the '70's on MSN and I'm starting to get punchy. It's report card time again, and that magnifies the punchiness. I do believe I have adult ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder). It's difficult to focus on anything that doesn't interest me (especially grading papers) for longer than maybe a few minutes. Hence the report card debacle every nine weeeks. I do it to myself. You think I'd know better after so many years. I promised myself that I would get caught up during the Christmas vacation. But then there was Disneyland and California Adventure--FOR FIVE WHOLE DAYS--I'm still suffering from Disney-lag. Let's talk about dirty laundry. Let's not. Perhaps I should just do it, instead of talking about it. ADD strikes again! Dirty laundry doesn't really interest me. Unless of course I can't find anything decent to ...

Ok, now I'm upset. Pushed the wrong button and lost my magnum opus. Let's try again, shall we? The summer, such as it was, is officially over. School started August 19. My feet sweat into my sneaker slides on recess duty. But it would be too nerdy to wear them with socks, wouldn't it? It's getting late. I should be getting the kids ready for bed, but I'm suffering from the effects of inertia. An object at rest... And then there's my frustration with all the garage sale, swap meet, yard sale, auction, thrift store junk that my husband collects at an annoying rate. I live in knick-knack hell. Oh, send me back to Korea, where the living was easy. I miss my Ajumoni( Korean word for Aunt and a polite way to address your housekeeper) and the spartan interior design ethic. I long to be able to dust the furniture and retain my sanity. "Hello, Salvation Army?" user=mspodunk&commentid= ">Comment

Those Walgreen's commercials about "Perfect" are beginning to intrigue me...How can I get there? And then I think, maybe, just maybe, I'm watching way too much TV. It was HOT today. It was HOT yesterday. It will be HOT tomorrow. And for those of you not acquainted with Southwest desert summers--HOT is over 105 degrees. I think this blog scares me. Every time I start to post, all the thoughts that were congealing nicely, seem to evaporate faster than a puddle on the sidewalk. Oh well. LATER.

And so begins the summer...it yawns before me. Possibilities. Three children. Help!! The car broke down yesterday--I came home from the faculty picnic to get something, broke down in the driveway. Took about an hour for the hubby to notice I hadn't come back yet. His cell phone (as usual) was not turned on. Eventually, I was rescued, the damsel in distress. The car broke down today. It wasn't the battery, which was replaced last night, but the alternator. Adventures in towing. So, now we deal with car rental. Ta da!! (The Bubba-boy is stranded at preschool. Gotta get him soon.) Are we having fun, yet?

As with most of the things that I want to do, I don't have much time to write this blog. Report cards are due this Monday, so here I am, slaving over a hot desk on a Saturday, feeling guilty because I don't have any time to have fun with my kids and I'm PMSing, so I hate everyone and everything, especially my job at the moment. Is it a case of my job interfering with my life, or my life interfering with my job? A true catch-22.

I teach Fifth grade. Ah, teaching, the best part-time job in the world! (After all, I do get summers off.) Yeah, right. That's why I'm at school on Saturday, trying to get caught up. I'm not doing very well in the catching up dept.-- since I seem to be writing my blog instead of recording those grades from that stack of books sitting there on the table. And, even worse, (yes, I started a sentence with "and"--I'm allowed to, I'm a grown-up.) I have an awful craving for a tall mocha with whipped cream from Starbuck's, with nary a Starbuck in sight, not for miles and miles and miles....Back to work!

Observation:Gameboys, like credit cards, are evil. My three children are constantly bickering over all things Gameboy. The trash can looks tempting. Another observation:Could something like Calgon really take anyone away? If so, do they still sell it? Where can I get some? (That was more of a question, wasn't it?)