Burning Questions

First of all, the questions are burning because it's 115 degrees fahrenheit out there and pretty much everything is burning: hands on the steering wheel, feet on the pavement, eggs on the sidewalk... I think you get it.
Irritability is the word of the day, no, make that the word of the seaon.
Now, about those QUESTIONS!

1.) Who decided that females should be smooth, hairless creatures? C'mon now! How unfair to those of us who can trace half of our genes to passengers who arrived at Ellis Island on a boat from Napoli?! Whoever made that decision, no doubt, founded a razor blade empire and laughed all the way to the bank, where a smooth, hairless blonde teller accepted his deposit, not knowing the anguish suffered by her Mediterranean brunette counterparts.

2.) Why is it that in great works of literature, an adulterous woman always suffers a slow, painful, torturous death, usually at her own hand?
Examples?
Anna Karenina (threw herself under the wheels of a train-ouch!), Madame Bovary (poisoned herself, I think.), Camille (cough, cough! She died of the 'consumption,' cough!), and the heroine from "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin, whose name escapes me--although her drowning death is deeply embedded in my wifely conscience.
Deterrents all.

3.) Why do people live in the desert? Even rattlesnakes know enough to sleep under rocks during those torrid summer days! (I guess I shouldn't talk. I live in the desert. But Alaska always beckons to me this time of year. And I rethink the sanity of myself and all of my fellow desert rats.)


To be continued...